SPORTS | WELL, IF YOU CONSIDER “GOLF” A SPORT…

Southwind renovation includes tricky new feature on 14th green

“It doesn’t look all that difficult,” proclaimed Abraham Ancer, last year’s winner of the World Golf championships-FedEx St. Jude Invitation. “But then that danged windmill arm smacked my ball way outta the way. I haven’t seen anything like it anywhere on the Tour.”

Ancer is referring to the giant windmill that’s been installed on the 14th green at TPC Southwind. The new feature was the brainchild of the 9-year-old grandson of FedEx CEO Frederick W. Smith.

Tournament Execuitve Director Joe Tomek explains: “Little Donny came to us and was like, ‘You know what would be hella awesome? A giant windmill that really spins that you have to putt the ball through.”

PGA officials are scrambling to see if the new installation meets association guidelines.

“Honestly,” said one exasperated official. “None of us have ever actually read the entire rule book. It’s pretty dry stuff.”

In the meantime, golfers will have to time their putts to miss the spinning blades and onlookers will have a whole new reason to get excited about this year’s tournament.

As for little Donny… he’s got more ideas on course improvements he’d like to see implemented in the future.

“What if – on the last hole – you had to your ball up a ramp and into a clown’s mouth? Pretty sweet, huh?”