FedEx New Distribution Center at North Pole Runs into Blizzard of Disruptions

Fred Smith wants to compete with Santa, but the planned FedEx distribution center that would make this a reality is facing all sorts of cost overruns and operations problems.

“First of all,” said FedEx North Pole spokesman Chester Minit, “we didn’t expect it be this cold all the time. It’s like a thousand below here!”

A labor shortage has also hampered the new facility’s plans. “Elves haven’t been as easy to pry away from the old man as we thought they’d be,” explained Minit. “And the yetis we brought in are a little too rough with the packages.”

“I could have told them that it was an operational nightmare,” remarked Frosty the Snowman. “But they didn’t want to pay my consulting fee. Well, who’s in hot water now? Not me, I hope…”